Redemption
by docsangel
Summary: Venus comes to the club for help saving her sister, Ryan, from their mother and her friends. Jax is struggling with his inner demons but what if they help heal each other. Will they find the redemption they've been looking for?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The club pulls up to Scoops after getting a call from Gemma that she needed them there. They walk into the shop and see Gemma sitting there with a very demure woman with a bruise to the side of her face. Jax looks at Gemma and she says "This is Venus. She's a friend of Nero's." Jax looks at the rest of the guys before looking at Venus and asking "What can we do for you Darlin?" She looks up at him and says "I need your help." Tig looks at her and asks "It have anything to do with that bruise on your face?" She reaches up and touches the bruise before saying "This is the least of my worries. I need your help. My mother is a rather...savory person. I made a rather unwelcome visit this morning to her home that she shares with her current gentleman caller and his...friends to try to talk her into letting me take my dear sister, Ryan. She's been holding my sister hostage and letting her 'friends' have their way with her. This is the third time I've found my sweet sister and tried to save her but before I can, our mother goes into hiding again." Venus says. "Tell us about your sister." Chibs says. "She was always so full of life when we were younger. She's smart, huge heart, but our mother has always had a hold on her. I've heard it's a form of Stockholm Syndrome." Venus says. She looks at the rest of the men and pleads "You have to help my sister. I know you don't know us but she deserves better than what our mother is letting those _men_ do to her." Venus says. Jax looks at her for a second and says "Guess I'm a sucker for a pretty face." Venus smiles and then Gemma pats her hand to reassure her that it will be okay.

After finding the house and an extensive car chase, they find the studio where our mother has her photography business. Walking inside, Venus behind Tig, they see me passed out on the couch. Venus runs over and lightly slaps my face. "Ryan, sweetheart, please wake up." she pleads and I start to stir. Our mother comes in and Venus is still by my side. Our mother starts talking to Venus, calling her a monster and condemning Venus when all of a sudden, we hear a gunshot. My eyes shoot open and even in my drugged state, I can see the sorrow in the man's eyes.

After being taken to what Venus called the clubhouse, I have been put in a room and resting. A few hours later, I wake up and have Venus sitting on one side and another woman on the other side. "V." I say softly. "Hey, you're awake." Venus says. I look at her and then the other woman and Venus says "Ryan, this is Gemma. Her son and his club helped me save you." I look at Gemma and rasp "Thank you." She touches my cheek and says "You're safe here baby. We got you." I nod and look at Venus. "Mom…" I start. "Gone. You don't have to worry about her anymore." she says and I start to cry.

As I start getting myself together, the door opens and Venus sees the man that shot our mother walk in. Her and Gemma move to see themselves out and the man takes the chair that Gemma was just in. I move to sit up against the headboard and wince because of my bruised ribs. "Are you okay?" he asks concerned. "You're the man that shot my mother." I say softly instead of answering. He looks down at his hands and I say "Thank you." He looks up at me and I see that same sorrow in his eyes. "Are you okay?" I ask his question back at him. "I'm good Darlin. Just want to make sure you're okay." he says. I pat the bed next to me and it moves to sit next to me. "I'm okay. Or I will be now. What's your name?" I ask. "I'm Jax. President of my club." he tells me. I hold out my hand to shake his and say "Ryan Morgan." He shakes my hand "Nice to officially meet you." and smiles a panty dropping smile. "Can I ask why you helped my sister?" I ask. "She's a friend of the club and we take care of our own." he tells me. After looking at me for a minute he asks "Are you hungry?" I nod my head yes and ask "Can you help me out front?" He nods and moves to help me stand.

Helping me to the main room, as soon as Gemma sees me, she heads to the kitchen to get me food and a water. As I sit down, I look at them all and say "I can't thank you all enough for helping me. Seriously." I say. "You're one of us now." Jax says as he takes a seat next to me. I look at my sister and see another man sitting next to her with his arm around her and I can't help but smile softly. I raise an eyebrow and she nods her head yes slightly. Tig and Jax looks at us confused. "Everything okay?" Jax asks. "Just be good to her." I tell Tig and he nods before kissing her temple.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

After spending most of the day talking to the guys and getting to know them a little better, Venus, Gemma and I are having a cup of tea and I am just looking into my cup, my mind wondering. Venus takes my hand and breaks me from my thoughts and I didn't realize I had started crying. "I think I'm going to get some air." I say before standing up and heading out to the picnic tables. "She okay?" Jax asks and Venus says "I don't know." as she looks at the door I walked out of worried.

I sit on top of one of the tables when a slim blonde walks over and takes a seat next to me. "I'm Lyla." she tells me. I shake her hand and say "Ryan." I look back down at my hands and she asks "Wanna talk about it?" I don't look at her but say "I'm just trying to wrap my head around all of this." She looks at me concerned and asks "What's going through your head?" she asks. "My sister got help from the club to save me from my mom and her friends and I'm grateful but I went for so long, worrying that if I didn't do what I was told she'd have one of her friends beat me. They were raping me. Now she's gone. I don't feel anything. I'm not upset that she's dead. I'm not even mad at the man that killed her. But then a part of me feels guilty because I'm not upset." I tell her. "Honey, she was beating you and letting her friends rape you. You don't have to feel anything if you don't want to. Don't feel guilty. One thing I've learned is that Karma is a bitch and when she comes to collect, she can be a raging bitch." she tells me and I laugh a little and she does too. "So I'm not a horrible person for not being upset that she's gone?" I ask. "Absolutely not." she tells me.

After talking to Lyla, we walk back inside and as soon as I am inside, Jax walks up. "You okay Darlin?" he asks and I see concern in his eyes. "I'm getting there." I tell him as I touch his arm and he nods. I walk back over and tell Venus and Gemma and say "I think I'm going to head to bed." They both stand up and kiss my cheek and say "We'll see you in the morning." before I nod and head down the hall.

I wake up from a nightmare and look at the clock and it reads 2am. I walk down the hall to get a drink of water and see the doors to the chapel open and see Jax sitting there playing with his rings. I walk to the door and ask "Jax?" He looks up and sees me standing there. "What are you doing up Darlin?" he asks as he stands up. "Are you okay?" I ask without answering his question. "Yeah. I'm good." he says. I walk into the chapel and closer to him. "I see it, you know." I tell him. "See what?" he asks softly. "What's going on inside your head. You're thinking about what my momma said." I say. "You heard her?" he asks and I nod my head yes. "It's not true." I tell him. He looks down at his hands in front of him and still playing with his rings. I gently place my hand on his and say "You're not a monster." I tell him. He looks up at me and I move to one of the chairs and he sits in the one next to me. "You're not a monster, Jax." I repeat and he looks at his hand still in mine. "Let me tell you a little history." I tell him and he nods that he's listening. "Venus and I are twins. When we were younger, Venus was Vincent. Our mother started pimping us out at the age of eight. By the time we hit puberty, we were taking more dick than our momma." I say and I feel his hand squeeze mine in support. "Growing up, momma had two businesses. One was a photography business like where you found me. She would sell the copies of the pictures of little ones and sell them to pediphiles. She also had a daycare that she ran out of the house. When I was nine, I walked in on her holding one of the little ones, naked on her lap. One of her friends paid her to let him jack off looking at the little girl. When she saw me there, she made me finish him off." I tell him and see a tear fall from his eye. I wipe his tear and say "What makes a person a monster isn't what they do. It's their reason for doing it. My mom did the things she did out of greed. You do the things you do to survive and to protect your club and your family. My momma was a monster. You are a good man. Jax, you didn't know me or my sister and you did what you had to do to rescue me. I will always be grateful to you for that." I tell him, my hand still on his cheek.

Jax places his hand on mine on his cheek and turns and kisses my wrist. "You're a good man." I whisper and he nods softly. "Come on." I tell him and he looks at me confused. "We both need to sleep. We can help each other." I tell him and before he can ask, I say "Nightmares." He nods and follows me to my dorm, not letting go of my hand.

Walking into the dorm, he closes and locks the door and strips down as I get into bed. He climbs in behind me and I pull him to lay his head on my chest. I run my fingers through his hair and hear his breathing even out telling me he's sleeping and I drift off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Waking up the next morning, he's on his side and I am still on my back, his arm across my stomach. I slip out of bed and into the main room in search of coffee. Walking into the kitchen, Venus and Gemma are sitting there at the table. I pour a cup of coffee and sit next to Venus. "Morning sister." Venus says. "Morning V. Morning Gemma." I say before taking a drink. "Morning baby. How are you feeling?" she asks. "Okay I think. Woke up last night from a nightmare but I was able to get back to sleep." I tell them and they nod. "I better head to the garage." Gemma says. Kissing the top of my head, she says "You need anything, let me know." I nod and say "Thank you." before she leaves the kitchen. Pouring another cup, Venus says "I better wake Alexander up." before kissing my cheek and leaving the kitchen.

I am sitting there looking into my coffee cup just thinking when I hear someone walk in. Looking up, I see Jax walk in fully dressed. He walks over and kisses my temple before asking "How'd you sleep?" as he pours his own cup of coffee. Taking the seat next to me, he takes a drink and waits on me to answer. "Better after we talked. How about you?" I ask. "Better." he tells me and I nod. "Thank you." He says and I look at him. "For talking me down last night." He tells me. "Jax, I literally owe you my life. You need anything, just say the word." I tell him and he nods. Kissing my temple again, he says "I better get some hours in." I nod and he heads out of the room.

Gemma walks in asks "What did he mean talk him down?" she asks. "I woke up last night and he was still up. He was thinking about what my momma said about being a monster. I just told him what a person does doesn't make them a monster but their reasoning does." I tell her. "He's been struggling a lot lately." she says. "Gemma, I owe him my life. Anything I can do to make things easier on him, I will." I tell her. "You're a good woman honey. Been through hell yourself and you still have enough of a heart to help my son." she tells me and I just nod.

After talking to Gemma, I head out to the picnic table and sit at the table with my second cup of coffee and just watch Jax and the guys work. Lyla sits beside me. "How are you feeling?" she asks. "Better thanks." I say. She sees me looking at Jax. "He's a good man you know." Lyla says. "I know. I told him so." I tell her. She looks at me and says "He's been lonely for a while. He lost his wife about six months ago." she tells me. I look at her shocked and she says "They're still looking for who did it. It's made him rethink this life for his boys." she tells me. I look back at him and say "He slept in my dorm last night." I tell her and she looks at me concerned. "I woke up from a nightmare and he was still up. After we talked, I took him to my dorm and we helped each other sleep. No sex or anything, just helped each other." I tell her. "That's good. He needs someone and so do you. Nothing wrong with depending on each other." she tells me as she pats me on the shoulder and leaves me to my thoughts.

That night, I'm laying in the bed in my dorm sleeping when I start dreaming. I'm on my bed in my old room when the door opens and I freeze. Next thing I know, I'm being rolled onto my back and a man is holding me down. I start to panic when he punches me. He moves my panties to the side and enters me. "Please don't." I beg. Next think I know, I hear a familiar voice whispering to me. "Ryan, come back to me Darlin. I got you. They can't hurt you anymore. Come back to me." and I realize it's Jax. I start to wake up and I start to sob and he holds me closer. "There you are. I got you Darlin." I hear him whisper against my temple. "Jax." I sob. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere babe." he whispers. He looks at the open door and sees Venus and Gemma standing there. They both nod before closing the door and leaving us alone. Jax goes to pull away a little and I pull him closer and start to panic again. "Hey, I'm not going anywhere Ryan. I got you." he says softly as he holds me close. I start to get myself together and pull away from him. "Sorry." I say softly. Cupping my face, he makes me look at him and he says "I'm not going anywhere babe." I nod slightly and he stands up and starts to strip down to his boxers. Climbing into bed with me, he lays on his side, facing me, he pulls me into his chest and holds me close.

We lay there in silence and asks "Where were you?" I sigh and say "I was dreaming about the first time momma pimped me out. I was eight. I was sleeping when my door opened and he pinned me to the bed. When I started to panic, he punched me and raped me." I tell him. "I won't let that happen to you again." he says. I look up at him and ask "Why did you help me tonight?" I feel him kiss the top of my head and he says "You needed me." I pull him closer and whisper "What are we doing?" He tilts my head up and says "I don't know." After a couple of minutes, he says "Try to get some sleep." He tightens his hold him me and we both drift off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Waking up the next morning, I'm in bed alone but I hear the shower shut off. Jax walks out of the bathroom in just a towel and I look away. "Sorry. Didn't think you'd be awake." he says. "It's okay. Um...I think I'll get a shower too." I tell him. I get out of bed and go to walk past him and he gently grabs my hand. I don't look at him but he pulls me closer and says "I won't hurt you." I finally look up at him and say "I know." He kisses my temple and I head to the shower.

When I get out of the shower, he's gone. I get dressed and head out to the main room and see Jax sitting at the bar, drinking his coffee. He reaches his hand out for me and I walk over and take it. He pulls me to the seat next to him but doesn't let go of my hand. I take a drink of my coffee as I pull my hand from his. "After you finish your coffee, I want to take you somewhere." he says and I just nod.

After I finish, we head out to his bike and head off of the lot. We ride around for a while and he pulls up to the streams. Getting off the bike, he laces his fingers with mine and leads me to the edge of the water. Sitting down, he pulls me between his legs and it feels like we've been doing this for years. "This okay?" he asks. "Yeah. It's nice." I tell him and lean back into him. "Talk to me Jax." I say softly. "My mind doesn't shut off. Trying to be the man my club needs, the father my boys need, trying to find who killed my wife? It's all killing me." he says. I turn a little to look at him and say "Jax, remember what I told you that first night we talked?" I ask and he nods. "You're a good man. You're a good father. I've seen you with your boys. They love you." I say. He puts his forehead to mine and says "I've been listening to so many people. Trying to figure out who killed Tara. Being pulled in all these different directions." he tells me. "What do you know?" I ask. He looks at me for a minute and says "All of the info I've been getting has been from my mom but one of my brothers came to me last night and told me that he knew who killed my wife." he says and I pull away from him. "Who did he tell you?" I ask. "My mother." he tells me and I look at him shocked. "What are you going to do?" I ask. "I don't want to kill her but that's how we do things in this life." He tells me. "Jax…" I start. He pulls me closer and says "I don't know what else to do." He says and there are tears falling from his eyes. I move to straddle him and cup his face. "Look at me Jax." I say softly and he looks into my eyes. "You control this. You decide what happens. You don't want to kill her then don't." I tell him. "I can't let her get away with this. She killed my wife. Mother of my kids." he tells me. "Then don't let her get away with it. Remember, what you do doesn't determine who you are. You're reasoning does. You can't bring yourself to kill her, then that means it's not what you feel is the right thing to do in your heart. What other options are there in your world?" I ask. "Ex-communication." he tells me. "What does that entail?" I ask. "Blackout all of her club related tattoos and make her leave and not have anymore contact with anyone that's in the club or any other charter." he tells me. "Then do that. Take it to the club and tell them what you're proposing and vote. Then go from there. No one will bring up killing her because they all love her." I tell him. He looks at me and says "I don't know what I would do without you Ryan." he says. "You'd figure it out. Trust me." I tell him. Me still straddling him, cupping his face, he leans forward and kisses me softly and I let him deepen the kiss for a minute before pulling away and moving off of his lap. "We should go." I tell him and he nods.

We head back to the clubhouse and neither of us say anything as we get off the bike. He kisses my temple and heads inside the clubhouse and I walk in behind him. "Church." he calls and everyone looks at him confused but follows him inside. I head to my dorm with my head down and Venus follows me. She walks into my dorm behind me and closes the door. "What's wrong?" she asks. "I'm okay." I tell her. "No secrets, remember. We don't keep secrets from each other." she tells me. I look at her and say "We went to the streams to talk. I helped him talk through something that was bothering him and when we finished talking, he kissed me." I tell her. "That's good Ry." she asks and I look down at my hands. "He just lost his wife and the shit I've been through, it can't happen." I tell her. "Just take things a day at a time. Things will happen when they are meant to." she tells me and I just nod.

Inside the chapel, Jax has everyone's attention. "I'm sorry I've pulled you all into my shit. I've been listening to some half truths and let it lead me to some shit that shouldn't have happened and I'm sorry for that. One of our brothers has brought some info to me and after checking it out, I know without a doubt who killed Tara." he tells the club. They all look at him confused and Jax nods to Juice. He moves to the safe and gets out a plastic bag that was in there. Juice hands the bag to Jax. "This meat pick is what killed Tara. Juice knew where it was." he says and they all look at Juice confused. "When I left Scoops, the night Tara was murdered, I pulled up at Jax's house because I saw Unser's truck and knew that's what Gemma was driving. Roosevelt was there, said he was escorting Tara home. We heard screaming and when we went inside, Gemma was sitting against the wall, freaked out and Tara was dead on the floor. Gemma blackmailed me into helping her hide it. Said she would tell the club what I was hiding if I didn't help. But, I came to Jax about it and gave him the pick and told him what I was hiding." Juice says. "What are you hiding?" Tig asks. "My father is black. Roosevelt was trying to blackmail me into giving up the club and the cartel but I never gave anything up." Juice says. "What happened to Roosevelt?" Chibs asks. "I shot him. He was about to call in Tara's murder and Gemma told me if I didn't help her that she would come to the club about who my father is and that Roosevelt was blackmailing me and the club would kill me. That she would make sure of it." Juice says. "You didn't rat and your paperwork says Puerto Rican. That's all we need to know. As much as it hurts, you did right coming to me with all of it. As far as I'm concerned, we're good." Jax tells Juice and then looks at the rest of the club. Seeing the rest of the guys at the table nod their okay, Juice releases the breath he was holding. "How are we going to handle this brother? She's your mom. You're call." Happy says. "I was thinking about things. Getting some input. Killing her is how we would normally handle things but I can't bring myself to do it. That tells me it's not the right thing to do. I propose we ex-communicate her." Jax says. "All in favor?" he asks and yeas all around the table. Jax breathes a sigh of relief before saying "Bring her in."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Tig opens the chapel door and says "Gemma, can we get a minute?" Tig asks and she looks at him confused but walks into the chapel. "What going on?" she asks. "Some things have been brought to our attention and we've had a vote. We know who killed Tara." Jax says and you can see the hate and sadness in his eyes. "Who?" she asks, feigning shock. "You." Jax says. "Jackson, you know I would never…" she starts and Jax stops her. "Don't. Every word out of your mouth has been a lie." he says. "Well, did you know you have a rat at the table?" she asks. "We know all about Roosevelt blackmailing Juice and we know what he was holding over his head. We know that he didn't give up any info and didn't sign anything. But you." Jax stops and takes a breath. "You killed my wife." he seethes. "So what. She was leaving you and taking our boys with her." Gemma justifies. "No. She was leaving with my boys. Not yours. And she was leaving with my blessing. I was supposed to do the time and she was getting immunity from the murder charge. All of it would have worked out had you not done what you always do and meddle in shit you don't know a fucking thing about." he says and she turns to leave but Chibs blocks the door. "You're not going anywhere love." Chibs says. She turns back to Jax and he says "You know the consequences." She looks shocked and says "You can't kill me. Those boys need me." she pleads. "They have me and my club as well as the old ladies of the club." Jax says. "So who's idea was this? That little tart that you been bedding? Venus' sister?" she asks trying to put the blame on someone else. "You better watch what you say about her. She's the reason I'm not putting a bullet in your fucking skull." Jax tells her. "Then what's going to happen?" she asks. "We're blacking out your crows and shit and then you're being ex-communicated. You will pack your shit and leave and I don't care where you go, just don't come back here and you won't contact anyone from here. You won't reach out to any other charter either. We will let them know you're not to associate with any of them and they will be told to shoot you on sight if you try." Jax tells her and she nods her understanding.

They call church and lead her to a table for Happy to black out her tattoos. Once he's done, Jax says "TO and Montez will follow you to make sure you pack what you can get leave." She nods and asks "Can I at least kiss the boys goodbye?" He shakes his head and says "No." She looks at me as she walks past and says "Take care of him." I nod my understanding and as she leaves, Jax heads to his dorm.

I follow him back and walk in behind him. He walks over to the bed and I lock the door behind me before talking over to the bed and he pulls me between his legs. I look down at him and he pulls me to straddle him like we did at the streams. "Holding me close, he nuzzles his nose against my neck and I run my fingers through the hair on the back of his head and I feel him start to shake from the sobs. "Please don't leave me." he whispers as he sobs. "I'm not going anywhere Jax. I got you." I whisper back. He pulls back a little to look at me and I cup his face. "Tell me what you need." I ask. He looks into my eyes and kisses me softly. I let him deepen the kiss and he turns me over to hover over me. We start to shed clothes and he looks at me to ask for permission and I nod. He enters me slowly and makes love to me nice and slow. The entire time, his forehead to mine. All you hear are soft grunts from him and soft moans from me until we both find our release together. Still hovering over me, he pulls out and when I open my eyes, there are tears in his. He lays his head down on my chest like he did that first night and I run my fingers through his hair. "Please don't leave me." he says again. "I'm right here Jax. I'm here as long as you want me here." I tell him. He looks up at me and kisses me softly and we just look at each other. I caress his face and he says "You saved me." I look at him confused and say "No baby, you saved me." He moves to lay next to me and I lay facing him and he says "When I met you, I was so fucking lost. I felt like I was drowning and couldn't get my head above water but that night, when we talked, since then my mind has never been more clear. It's like you know exactly how to calm my demons." he tells me. "You're the first man I've ever been with that wasn't forced or pimped." I tell him. He cups my face and ask "Where do we go from here?" I pull away a little and say "You're still healing from losing your wife and now your mom and I'm still healing from the shit my mom put me through." He pulls me close and says "We just take things a day at a time, okay?" he asks. "Okay." I say. I look up at him and kiss him softly before we get up and get dressed to head back into the main room.

A little later, Jax is sitting at the bar with Chibs and Tig while I am on one of the couches with Lyla and Venus when his phone rings. We all are silent and listening. I have a bad feeling so I walk over to him and put my hand on his shoulder to let him know I'm there. "What? Are you sure?" he asks. "We're on our way." he says before ending the call. He looks at me and I see the tears in his eyes. I cup his face and he whispers "She killed herself." He goes to stand and I stop him and cup his face. "Jax, you don't need to see that." I tell him. "She's right. Stay here, we'll handle it." Tig tells him and he nods. Sitting down, he pulls me between his legs and holds me close. "I got you baby. I'm not going anywhere." I whisper to him so that only he hears. I feel him nod his head that he heard me and holds me closer. Looking up at me, he kisses me softly and I say again "I'm right here." and put my forehead to his as we drift off into our own little world, not seeing all of our family watching us.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

A little later, Jax's phone rings. "Yeah...Okay...I'm on my way." he says before hanging up the phone. We all look at him and he tells me "They have her at the cabin. We're burying her there." I nod and he asks "Will you go with me?" I nod and we head out to his bike.

Pulling up at the cabin, before we go in, I stop him. He looks at me concerned and I look at everyone else and ask "Give us a minute?" They nod and head inside. I pull him closer to me and softly say "Are you okay?" He nods and starts to walk and I stop him again. Without asking again, he sighs and says "I don't know how I feel but right now I need to bury my mom." I caress his face and say "Forget the why for right now. Right now, you need to mourn your mother." He nods and kisses me softly. "Stay close please." he whispers. "Of course." I whisper back.

Lacing his fingers with mine, he leads me inside the cabin. As soon as we walk in, he lets go of my hand and his brothers start to hug him and they all follow him to the back of the cabin where she is laid on the picnic table. They all stay back as he walks forward and sees the gunshot wound on the side of her head. I see his shoulders start to shake as he sobs and I walk over and put my hand on his back and start to rub his back gently, letting him know I'm there. One arm wraps around my waist as he stands up and he pulls me close to him. "She's gone." he whispers. I cup his face and say "She went out on her own terms Jax. This was on her. Not you." He nods his head and pulls me closer and before he can say it, I whisper "I'm right here baby. I got you." He cups my face this time and kisses me softly.

After they bury her, Chibs walks up and says "She had this laying on her bed." Jax looks at it and everyone starts walking outside seeing him holding the envelope with his name on it in Gemma's handwriting. I go to leave and he grabs my hand. "Stay." he says softly. I nod and he pulls me to sit on the couch beside him. He takes the letter out of the envelope and starts to read with me reading over his shoulder.

_Jackson, _

_You know that I love you and our boys more than anything and only want to protect you. I thought I knew what was best for you by getting rid of Tara but I know that you love her and I hurt you and that wasn't my intention. When Tara came back, I decided then that I would do what was needed to make sure you two didn't last but she was a great mother to Abel and Thomas. But she didn't have what it takes to be in this life. I know you don't want to hear this and you most likely won't listen to me but I have to say this. I know you were struggling after Tara died and that's my fault but you seem to have a clearer head now that Ryan has been here. If you never listen to anything I've told you in your life, listen to me now. She's a good woman. The hell she's been through and anytime I spoke to her, all she talked about was helping you. Take care of her. Let her be there for you. Keep her close and keep her safe. I love you._

He closes the letter and looks at me. I run my fingers through the hair on the back of his head and he leans towards me and kisses me softly. Putting his forehead to mine, he asks "What do I do?" Moving into his lap, my forehead still against his, I say "You take some time and get your head right. Take a few days and let your mind reset. Spend some time with your boys." I tell him and he nods.

Getting on his bike, we head to the clubhouse with everyone else. Once we pull up, I get off his bike and he pulls me close. Kissing me softly he says "Call me if you need me." I nod and say "Just spend time with your sons. I'll be fine." I tell him. Putting his forehead to mine he says "You're mine." I shake my head and say "Jax, just be with your sons and we'll talk in a few days. Okay baby?" I ask and he nods. I kiss him one more time before he heads home to his sons.

I walk into the clubhouse and Chibs asks "Is he okay?" I say "I don't know. I told him to take a couple of days and spend with his sons and let his mind reset." I tell him. "You okay Lass?" he asks. I shake my head no and head to my dorm...alone.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Laying on the bed in my dorm, I start to sob. I hear my door open and quickly wipe my eyes but then the bed dips down and I feel an arm wrap around me. "I'm here sister." I hear Venus whisper. I turn to face her and she holds me close while I sob. "It's okay." she tells me. "No it's not." I say as I pull away. I sit up and lean against the headboard and she moves to sit next to me. "Talk to me." she says. "He told me I'm his." I tell her. "That's good though." she tells me and I shake my head no. "Why isn't it?" she asks. "He's still healing from losing his wife and now his mom. He's just running off emotion and not wanting to be alone." I tell her. "What about you?" she asks. "I slept with him. First time being with someone when it wasn't forced or me being pimped out. He doesn't need someone that's all used up." I tell her. "Honey…" she starts and I stop her. "V, don't. Neither of us are in the right mindset to get anything started between us other than sex." I tell her. "I'll agree there but just take it a day at a time with him. It will happen when it's supposed to happen." she tells me and I nod.

A few days later, I am sitting at the bar, drinking my coffee when Jax walks into the clubhouse. The guys welcome him back and he looks tired. Once he sees everyone, he walks over to me and pulls me close and I let him. Kissing me softly he asks "Can we talk?" I nod and he leads me to the hallway to a ladder. We climb up onto the roof and walk over to the chairs that have been set up there. We each take a chair and when I sit down, he pulls his in front of mine and sits. Taking my hands in his, he says "I've had some time to think about things." I nod and pull my hands from his. "I meant what I said when I said you were mine." he says and I shake my head. "You don't want that?" he asks hurt. "It's not that, Jax. But right now neither of us are in the right frame of mind to get anything serious started between us." I tell him. "I agree but what about this, we sleep next to each other almost every night anyway, we keep doing what we've been doing, helping each other, but we don't see anyone else and just take shit a day at a time. I think my mom was right when she said you were a good woman. We need each other Darlin." he tells me. "That's what Venus said was to just take things a day at a time but Jax, you don't need someone that's used up. I'll still be here for you and I'll still help you sleep but all I can give you is comfort and sex. I can't give you anything else right now." I tell him. "Okay." he says before getting up and heading down the ladder, leaving me there in tears.

I stay up there for a while when Tig climbs up. "You okay Doll?" he asks. Wiping the tears away, I say "Doesn't matter." before getting up and heading towards the ladder when Tig gently grabs my wrist and I flinch. "Sorry." he says as he lets go. "Why doesn't it matter?" he asks. I look at him and say "Tig, most of my life all I've been is a way for men to get off. He needs more than that. My mind is fucked up and he's still dealing with losing his wife and now Gemma. Neither of us are in a good place to be starting anything up. I told him I can give him comfort and sex but that's all I can right now." I tell him. "And you don't think that's a good starting point? Come on." he tells me as he leads me to the ladder.

Heading out to the main room, he sees Jax sitting in the chapel and leads me inside and shuts the doors. "You two need to listen and listen good. You two need each other. Doesn't matter if your minds are right. You'll help each other get there. We see how you are together. When you're together, no one else exists. You calm each other. You comfort each other. Keep doing that and everything else will happen when it's supposed to. Neither of you are to come out of this room until you hash this shit out." he tells me before walking out and leaving us alone.

"Jax…" I start and he stops me. "He's right." he says. I look at him and he stands. Walking over to me he kisses me softly and says "Let's just keep doing what we've been doing and let shit happen as it happens." he tells me. Deciding to give him what he needs, not worrying about myself, I nod and whisper "I'm here for whatever you need." He kisses me again and says "I'm here for you too." I shake my head and say "I'm fine." He looks at me concerned and I say "Jax, I'm beyond fixable. Just let me be here for you." He pulls me close and says "You're not beyond fixable." before kissing me deeply and saying "And you're mine."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Jax sits down in one of the chairs at the table and pulls me into his lap. The closer he holds me, the more I have to keep my guard up. I'm beyond saving. I know I am. Jax, however, can be saved. He kisses me softly and then deepens the kiss. After sitting for a little bit, we stand and he leads me out to the bar. Kissing me one more time, he moves to talk to Tig and I head outside to the picnic table by the boxing ring.

I sit on top of the table and Lyla comes out and sits next to me. "Are you okay?" she asks. "Yeah. Just trying to figure out how to help Jax." I say. "What about you?" she asks. "I'm good." I tell her. "No you're not." she tells me. I sigh. "Lyla, Jax is struggling but he can be saved. He's going to be okay." I tell her. "So will you." she says. I shake my head no. "Lyla, I'm beyond fixable. I can't be fixed. I honestly don't think I was ever whole to begin with." I tell her. "One thing I've learned from being around these guys is that even if you feel like you can't be fixed, you still belong. We're one big family of misfits." she tells me and I laugh a little. She puts her arm around my shoulder and I lean into her as more tears fall.

That night, Jax and I head to the dorm and head to bed. He holds me close and tilts my chin up to look at him. Kissing me softly, he deepens the kiss and hovers over me. We start to shed clothes in between kisses and he enters me. Thrusting in and out, I find my release several times before he finds his inside me. He lays on his back and pulls me to him and I lay there for a few minutes but can't get myself together. I move from the bed. "Where are you going?" He asks. "I'm going to get a shower." I tell him. I head into the bathroom and lock the door. Getting in the shower, I slide down to the floor and sobbing. I stay in the shower sobbing until the water gets cold. Getting out, I dry off and get dressed before walking out into the bedroom. He's sitting on the side of the bed and reaches his hand out for me. Taking his hand, I let him pull me to stand between his legs. Looking up at me, I don't look at him. I put my chin on top of his head. "Talk to me babe." he says. "I'm good. I think I'm going to get some air. I'll be back." I tell him before pulling away and he lets me.

I walk out to the main room and out to the boxing ring and sit on top of the picnic table. I'm sitting out there for a few minutes when Jax comes out and sits next to me. Neither of us say anything for a minute before I speak. "I'm okay Jax." I tell him. He doesn't say anything but reaches over and takes my hand. "I could hear you crying." he tells me and I don't say anything. "Tell me what to do to make you happy." he tells me. "Jax, I don't know what it's like to be happy. I don't know what it's like to not feel worthless. I've never been more than a way for get a man off. I don't know how to be anything else." I tell him. "I'm falling for you." he tells me. I shake my head no. "I am." he tells me. "Jax, you just lost your wife. You're lonely. You're not falling for me. I'm just a means to an end." I tell him. He stands up and stands between my legs. Cupping my face, he kisses me softly and says "A day at a time." I nod and he puts his forehead to mine and I feel the tears start to fall again. Wiping my tears he says "Let's go to bed baby." I nod and we head inside.

Walking into the dorm, we lay on the bed and I lay with my back to him. He wraps his arms around me and I wait until I hear his soft snores and I slip out of the bed and up the ladder to the roof. I sit in one of the chairs and sob. I sit on the roof and sob until I see the sun start to rise, starting a new day.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

After the sun comes up, I am still sitting on the roof just thinking. I hear someone come up there with me and see it's Tig. He takes the seat next to me and asks "How long have you been up here?" I shrug and say "A while." He moves the chair closer and says "You wanna tell me why you're up here and not in bed with your old man?" he asks. "Not my old man Tig." I tell him. "I see how you and him look at each other." he tells me and I shake my head. "He said he's falling for me." I tell him. "And you don't want that?" he asks. "He's not falling for me. He just misses his wife. That's all this is Tig. He just misses the warm body next to him. It would be the same thing if one of the croweaters were with him." I tell him. "What about you?" he asks. "What about me? Tig, I've never been anything more than a hole to fill. The croweaters? They hook up with you guys and don't even care which one but they do it because they love sex and want to have fun. But me? I've been nothing more than a way for a man to get off since I was eight years old. I've probably had more dick than all those girls down there combined. You think he wants that shit? He misses his wife. That's all it is." I tell him. "Sweetheart, Jax has always let his heart lead him. But he's always been able to separate himself from girls that were just a warm body. I thought you hashed this shit out?" he asks. "We did. I'll be here to help him heal and when he does, I'll be on my way." I tell him as I stand up. "I better get ready for the day." I tell him before leaving him on the roof.

Coming down the ladder, I move to my dorm and Jax is sitting on my bed. "Where did you go?" he asks, not looking at me. "Roof." I tell him simply. He reaches for me and when I take his hand, he pulls me to him and I feel the tears falling again. When I finally get myself together a little I tell him "I appreciate everything you've done for me Jax, but I think it's time for me to go." I tell him, pulling away. He looks at me and asks "Is that what you want?" I don't look at him but nod my head yes. "Then be gone by tonight." before walking out of the room and slamming the door.

I pack what few things I have and head towards the main room. I walk up to Venus and ask "Can you give me a ride?" I ask. "Sure." she says, looking at me confused. She looks at Tig and then Jax and sees Tig looking confused and Jax looks pissed. "Are you sure you want to go?" Tig asks me finally. Before I can answer Jax says "She wants to go, let her fucking go." before heading to his dorm and slamming the door. The tears start to fall again and Venus says "Let's go honey." before wrapping an arm around me and leading me outside. She leads me to a picnic table and says "I'm not taking you anywhere until you tell me what just happened." she says. "He said he's falling for me but Venus, he just misses his wife. All I can be for him is a whole to fill." I tell her. "Well, that right there is just bull shit if I have ever heard it." she tells me and I look at her and start to protest. "Let me tell you something. I went through the same shit you did for just as long as you and I am so tired of you telling me that you can't be fixed. You can. You just have to find the right person to fix you. I see how you are with Jackson. When you and him are together, it's like no one else exists. Alexander has helped me heal and Jackson can be that for you but you have to let him." she tells me and I look at her. "Alexander has his own demons. One of his daughters was killed right in front of him. But he is still capable of loving me and accepting me just the way I am. Jackson cares about you. He has a huge heart and yes he probably does miss his wife but honey, he cares about you too. There is nothing that says he can't fall for you too." she tells me. Tig walks out and says "You and him need to talk." I shake my head and he picks me up and carries me to my dorm that I shared with Jax and as soon as I am inside the dorm, he closes the door and leaves me there.

Jax doesn't look up and I don't leave my spot by the door. He stands and it looks like he's still pissed. He moves towards me and I instinctually back up against the door. He puts both hands on the door on each side of my head and I am stiff. Leaning close, he brushes his nose against mine and says "I will never hurt you." One of his hands slides over and entangles in my hair and his lips hover over mine. "I meant it. I'm falling in love with you." he tells me. "One day at a time." I whisper and he nods slightly before softly kissing my lips as the tears fall down my face. "I will never let anyone hurt you again. Do you understand me?" I nod and he kisses me again. "I need you Jackson." I whisper and he picks me up and carries me to the bed. Laying on the bed, he kisses me deeply before we start to shed clothes and he enters me slowly. Putting his forehead to mine, he makes love to me nice and slow and we both find our release and he whispers "Please don't leave me." I brush my nose against his before kissing him softly and whispering "Okay."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Jax and I spend the rest of the day in bed, snuggled up together and talking. "I'm sorry Jax." I tell him. Tilting my chin up he asks "For what?" before kissing me softly. "I'm just scared. I don't know how to do this." I tell him. "Do what baby?" he asks. "Be involved with someone. Believe that someone cares about me. I don't know how to do it." I tell him. Moving so he was laying facing me, he cups my face and says "All you have to do is stay with me. When you're ready, I want you to meet my boys." he tells me and I look at him shocked. "When you're ready." he tells me and I nod. "I was telling Tig when we were on the roof, since I was eight years old, I've been nothing more than a piece of pussy. I see the girls out there and see how comfortable they are and how much fun they're having but I never felt that. I never felt that comfort until you." I tell him. Kissing me softly, he says "I want you to feel comfortable. I want you to feel loved and wanted. You're not a piece of pussy. You're my girl." he tells me and I ask "Are you sure this is what you want Jackson? If you just need comfort, I'm okay with that. I'll be here to fill your bed and be what you need physically if that's what you want." I tell him. "If that was all I wanted, I would have one of the croweaters in here. I want you. I want this." he says as he looks into my eyes. "One day at a time." I say and he nods.

When we finally come out of the dorm, we walk to the bar and he tells the prospect to get me something to eat. "Jax…" I start. "I know you haven't eaten today and I'm not done with you yet." he tells me before nuzzling his nose against my neck and my fingers automatically go to his hair. We hear someone clear their throat. We look to see Tig and Venus standing there. "You two okay I take it?" Jax looks at me and I say "Working on it." as he pulls me closer. "Good. But look, sweetheart, anytime you need to talk, we're all here for you." Tig tells me. "Thanks." I say as I pull away from Jax to hug him and Venus. The prospect puts my plate on the bar and Jax says "Time to eat babe. I'm not done with you yet." he says and he pulls me back into his arms and just holds me close as I eat.

Once I get done eating, I see Lyla over to the side. "Give me a minute?" I ask and Jax nods. I walk over to her and say "Can we talk?" I ask and she nods. We head outside to the picnic table and I say "I spoke to Jax." She looks at my neck and says "I see that." I lower my head a little and say "I don't know how to do this Lyla. He wants to be with me and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be with him but…" I start and she finishes for me "You don't know how to let him in." I nod and say "It's not just that. I want to let him in so bad but how do I stop my mind from going there? I see the croweaters all over the guys and being affectionate and shit and how comfortable they are. How do I get comfortable with him like that?" I ask. "First of all, you even asking me this, says you have already let him in. Now, being comfortable, honey, I've seen you with him. When you're with him you're no one else exists. You're comfortable with him, you just have to stop overthinking. Now, as far as getting out of your own head, when you start thinking like that? Pull Jax into the dorm and ride him for dear life. I promise you'll forget about the thoughts going on in your head." she tells me. I hug her and say "Thank you Lyla. Seriously." She smiles and says "We're family. You need to talk, find me." she says.

We walk back into the clubhouse and I walk right up to Jax and crash my lips with his and feel him pulling me closer before we finally separate, gasping for air. He looks into my eyes and I whisper "I'm yours Jackson." before he crashes his lips with mine again and we hear the entire clubhouse cheering around us.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

A little later, Jax and I are laying in bed and I am snuggled into his side. "I need you to be patient with me Jax. I still don't have a clue what I'm doing." I tell him. Tilting my chin up to kiss me, he says "I got you baby." I nod and kiss him one more time before laying my head back on his chest. After laying there a little longer, I say "You know, I have never felt as comfortable with anyone as I have with you." He moves to lay facing me and I say "Thank you Jax." He kisses me softly and I let him deepen the kiss. We start to shed clothes and he enters me slowly. Making love to me nice and slow. He thrusts in and out at a slow pace as he places his forehead to mine. When we both find our release, he says "I want you to meet my boys." I nod my head yes and he kisses me softly.

We head out to the main room and he takes a seat at the bar and pulls me close. Nuzzling his nose against my neck, Venus says "You two keep this up and you're going to have another little Teller walking around." Jax smirks and I say "That won't happen." Jax and Venus look at me and I say "Mom did a home abortion on me a few years ago. Bled out." I say and go to pull away from Jax but he pulls me close. "Doesn't change anything." he tells me. I nod and just sink into him. "If she weren't dead…" Venus starts. "She can't hurt me anymore." I say before looking at Jax and saying "Thanks to Jax and the guys." Jax pulls me closer and says "I won't let anyone hurt you." I nod and just enjoy being close to him.

A little later, I am sitting on one of the picnic tables with Lyla when I see someone watching us. Looking at him I realize who he is. "We should go inside." I say. "What's wrong?" she asks. "You see that guy at the edge of the lot?" I ask and she nods. "He was one of my mom's customers." I tell her. She looks at me shocked and we head inside. As soon as I head inside, Jax sees me and rushes to me. "What's wrong?" he asks. "I'm okay." I tell him. "There's a guy at the edge of the lot, watching us." Lyla says. Most of the guys run outside and see him. Happy and Tig subdue him and bring him inside the clubhouse before anyone else saw. "Who is he?" Jax asks. "He was one of my mom's customers. He was a regular. Always wanted me. Was real rough. Almost torture." I say. "The scars on your back?" Venus asks and I nod. Jax goes to storm to him and I stop him. He gives me a bruising kiss and says "Stay with Venus." I nod and he walks over to Mark. "Why are you here?" Jax asks. "Came for her." he says and looks at me. "You don't look at her." Tig says before smacking the side of his head from behind. "She's not available anymore." Chibs says. "You all fucking her now?" Marks asks and Jax steps closer, seemingly keeping his cool. "Nah. Only me." Jax says. "Who are you?" Mark asks. "Her Old Man." Jax says and Venus pulls me closer. "Her Old Man? You want used up pussy?" Mark asks and I walk away from her and to the dorm, crying.

Venus follows me to the dorm and all of a sudden we hear a gunshot. We both jump and a couple of minutes later, Jax walks into the dorm and Venus kisses my cheek before leaving. "Are you okay?" Jax asks me. I don't say a word. I move to stand in front of him and crash my lips with his as he pulls me closer. When we separate, he whispers "He won't come near you again." He wipes my tears and whispers "You're my Old Lady." I nod my head yes and say "Yes I am."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

After another round of sex, he lays on his back and I lay across his chest. Neither of us are saying anything, just enjoying being together. Eventually he asks "What did he do to you?" I don't look at him but say "You don't want to know." I tell him. Moving to face me, he says "Tell me...please." I snuggle into his chest where I don't have to see his face and I say "When he was with me, he would tie me to the bed, face down and use his knife to make cuts in my back so that he could watch me bleed while he raped me. There were times he would come in with a small travel bag and it had different things he would use on me. He used the handle of a hammer on me once. Another time, he put zip ties and hooked my hands and feet together with me on my stomach and him and a buddy took turns on me. Another time he put a plastic bag over my face with my hands tied while he fucked me. Those are just the things I can remember." I tell him. He pulls me closer and tilts my chin up and says "I'll never hurt you." I kiss him softly and say "I know baby." before snuggling back into him.

The next morning, we wake up and he says "I want to bring my boys here to meet you." I look at him and ask "Are you sure? I mean...we're still working through shit and they just lost their mom. Are you sure?" I ask. "Yeah baby. You're my Old Lady. Happy is going to do your crow tattoo tonight and make it official. I want my boys to see who I'm raising them with. You're okay with all of this right?" he asks. I see so much love and hope in his eyes. It's so different from when I first got here. Taking a deep breath, I say "Yeah baby. I'm okay with that." I tell him before he crashes his lips with mine.

A little later, a car pulls up and Jax walks over and opens one of the doors while a woman opens the other. A little boy gets out and he picks up a smaller boy. Taking the little boy's hand, he walks them over to me. "Abel, this is Ryan. Ryan, this is Abel and Thomas." Jax says. "Hi Abel." I say as I kneel down and hold my hand out to shake. He looks at Jax and Jax nods that it's okay. He holds out his hand and says "Hi Ryan. Are you my daddy's girlfriend?" I look up at Jax and he pats Abel's head and asks "Is that okay?" Abel looks at me and then Jax and nods his head yes. Looking at me he says "Mommy went away and so did Grandma. Are you going to go away too?" I take his hand and say "I'll make you a deal. I won't leave you if you don't leave me. We'll have each other's backs. Deal?" I ask and hold out my pinky finger. He links his pinky with mine and says "Deal." Looking up at Jax he says "I like her Daddy." and Jax smiles as I stand up. I take Thomas' hand and say "Hey little man." He smiles at me and then hides his face in Jax's neck. Jax kisses me softly and says "They like you." I nod and shy away a little. "Abel, you wanna hit the playground?" the babysitter asks. "Brooke, this is Ryan, my Old Lady." he says. "Hey. I'm Rat's Old Lady." she tells me. "Nice to meet you." I say and Jax hands Thomas over to Brooke. We stand there for a few minutes before heading over to one of the picnic tables. "Thank you for this." Jax says. I look at him and say "I think I needed it too." I tell him.

We are standing there just watching the kids when they come running over and Thomas comes right to me and wraps his arms around my leg before reaching up for me. I pick him up and he snuggles into me and I kiss the top of his head. "Hey little man." I say softly. Abel moves from Jax to stand by me and he wraps his arms hugs me and Jax is standing there smiling.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

A little later, Brooke goes to take the kids home and I squat down the Abel and he hugs me. "Later buddy." I say and hold out my pinky. He links his with mine and says "Later buddy." before hugging me and getting in the car for Brooke to buckle him in. I look at Thomas, in Jax's arms and kiss his cheek. "See you little man." He reaches for me and snuggles me. I move to put him in his carseat and when I close the door, Brooke gets in the car and pulls out. Jax pulls me close and I watch them pull out of the lot. Turning to him, I snuggle into his chest and he says "They like you." I just nod. Tilting my chin up he asks "What is it?" I pull away a little and say "They are such cool little kids. They lost their mom this young. Jax…" I say as I start to ramble but he kisses me softly and whispers "It's okay. You're my Old Lady. You're moving in with me and the boys and we'll take it a day at a time." he tells me. "Okay." I whisper. He kisses me one more time before we head back into the clubhouse.

Sitting at the bar with Venus she asks "How are you doing Ry?" I look at her and smile softly and say "They are such cool kids." before looking back down at my drink. "What is it?" she asks. "I'm his Old Lady." I tell her. "You are." she says. I look at her and say "I belong to someone and V, he's so good to me. And as fucked up and broken as I am, he loves me. I know I'm beyond fixable. Nothing will change that but he loves me." I tell her as a tear falls. "He does." she says as she wipes my tears. Jax sees me crying and comes over, worried. "Babe?" he asks and before he can ask I crash my lips with his and he kisses me back just as passionately as he pulls me closer to him. When we separate, I whisper "I love you Jackson. I love you so much." I tell him. "I love you babe." he says before kissing me again softly. I snuggle into him and close my eyes as he holds me close, us not noticing everyone smiling around us.

I pull away and wipe the tears before saying "Sorry." He cups my face and says "Never apologize babe. I love you so fucking much. Don't ever apologize for showing me you love me." he says and I nod before he pulls me back into his arms. Tig walks up and says "Can we talk?" I look at Jax and he nods. We walk to the dorm and up the ladder, where we always go to talk. Since I've been here, Tig has been like a big brother to me and I am so glad my sister found him. We take our seats on the roof and he says "I heard what you told Venus. Doll, you ain't beyond fixable." he tells me. "Yeah Tig. I am." I tell him. "No you ain't. You telling Jax you love him? Agreeing to be his Old Lady? You meeting his boys? You're letting him in and whether you believe it or not, you're healing. You told me when you got here that you'd only ever been a way for a man to get off but you've let all of us in. You let him in. We all see it. You smile. When he looks at you, you fucking glow. The way you let him hold you and be there for you? You're healing." he tells me. I look at him and he says "You're fixable doll and we see you getting better every single day. You are being fixed and so is he. Since you've been here, his head has been more clear. He's been the President his Old Man would have been proud of. The President his Old Man wanted him to be. Tara couldn't do that for him but you do. You help him think things through instead of going on emotions like he did before. You two make each other better." he tells me. "Yeah but…" I start. "But nothing." he tells me. "Tig, I am still waiting on the other shoe to drop. I can't give him kids and still think I'm not good enough for him." I tell him. "He don't care about that. He has his boys. But Doll, you are more than good enough. Your sister loves you. We love you. He loves you. Hell, I think he loves you more than he ever did Tara but baby girl, you're one of us. You're his Old Lady so what you need to do now is hold that pretty little head up because as soon as you get his crow tonight, you become Queen B and you better start acting like it." he tells me. I look at him shocked and he says "You can handle it. I know you can and Venus and Lyla will be here to help you when you need it. You ain't alone here." he tells me. I hug him and say "Thanks Tig. I'm so glad my sister found you. You're the best big brother ever." I tell him and we both laugh. "Good. Now, get your ass down there and show you're Old Man that you're okay." he tells me. I nod and head down the ladder.

I walk up to Jax at the bar and he's talking to Venus. I pulls him to me and kiss him deeply and when we come up for air, he looks into my eyes and I whisper "Thank you." He looks at me confused and I say "For fixing me." He crashes his lips with mine before picking me up and carrying me to the dorm. When the door closes, he locks it and tosses me on the bed. Hovering over me he looks into my eyes and says "Now you can thank me properly." I smile before kissing him deeply and we start to shed clothes before he makes love to me nice and slow, both of us finding our release and just being close while we still can.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The party is in full swing and I am sitting at the bar with Venus and Lyla and watching Jax playing pool with Quinn and he's laughing. "It's good to see him smiling again." Lyla says. She looks at me and says "You know that's because of you right?" I nod and say "Yeah. He looks good with smiling doesn't he?" I ask. "You realize you're smiling too right?" Venus asks. "I know. I just can't help it. He makes me happy." I tell her. "Good. We want you to be happy honey." Venus says and I see Jax look over and me and wink. I blush a little and Lyla and Venus start laughing at me. "Stop laughing." I say as I turn towards the bar. "I've just never seen you blush before." Venus says "Yeah well he makes me feel things I never thought I would before." I tell her and I feel arms wrap around me and I can't help but lean back into him. "You ready babe?" he asks and I turn to look at him. "You sure about this? Last chance to back out." I say. "No backing out. I'm putting my mark on you right now. Marking you as mine babe. Everyone's going to know it." he tells me and I kiss him softly and say "Then let's do it."

Walking over to the table, I put my arm on the table and Happy starts giving me Jax's crow. Once it's done, I say "One more?" and Happy nods. Jax looks at me confused and Venus brings over a piece of paper and pen for me. I write down _Ryan_ in my handwriting and look at Jax. He nods is approval and asks "Where?" I motion to the same spot where his crow is and Happy takes my signature and traces it onto the transfer paper and starts the tattoo on Jax's arm. Once it's done, out ink is covered and Jax stands. Pulling me close he says "You know this means you can't leave right?" I nod and say "Nowhere else I'd rather be. Now take you Old Lady to bed." I say and he picks me up and I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist and he carries me to the dorm.

Laying me on the bed, he kisses me deeply and we start to shed clothes before he enters me. Making love to me slow and easy, he whispers "I love you Ryan." I smile against his lips and whisper "I love you Jackson. I love you so much." before we both find our release and I snuggle into his side. "Tomorrow we'll get you moved in with me and our boys." I kiss him one more time before falling asleep in his arms.

The next morning, we get up and I pack up my things. "What you don't take with us, we can move to my dorm here with what I keep here." he tells me. "Okay babe." I say and he smiles wide. "What?" I ask. "You seem so much better than when you first got here." he tells me. "You know that's because of you right?" I ask and he pulls me close. "I want you happy." he tells me. "I am happy baby. I never thought I would be but I am." I tell him. We head out the door and to his bike with my bag hanging from my back.

Walking into the house, Abel comes running up to me and hugs me. "Ryan, you're here." I smile and say "Yeah buddy. I'm here. You okay with that?" I ask and he nods. "Yeah. But...can I call you mommy?" he asks. I look at Jax and he nods his okay. "That's fine buddy. If that's what you want." I tell him and he kisses my cheek and says "Welcome home mommy." I smile and look up at Jax and see him smiling wide. I stand and Brooke brings Thomas to me. He reaches for me and I snuggle him a minute and he says "Mamama." I smile and say "Yeah baby. Mama's here." before Jax kisses me softly and I can't help but smile.


End file.
